Got Therapy?

The radio has recently been advertising about relational conflicts and how to resolve them. Sometimes they just mention a dramatic relational conflict with a closely followed disclaimer that the advertised product will not be able to remedy that kind of situation. But other commercials have been claiming that therapy is something that would solve these problems, most specifically with your marriage, or with your children. Among other techniques, the claim goes that if you simply use certain words, your marriage will thrive with harmony and romance, and/or your children will stop being disobedient or obnoxious. But is that what it really takes to remedy the problem? Are there really words that, if said, would heal months or even years of conflict with another person or group of people? Or if you simply do certain things like take someone where they like to go, or buy them something special, or any combination of things like these, will that gain true peace?

We have such a tendency to want quick-fix solutions, and often they only provide surface-level solutions. If a child gets put in his/her place by the parent and no love is shown, bitterness can easily take root in the child's heart. Friends can have long-term division between them just over one conversation, and there's no quick fix to restoring the trust that was once there. It takes a deeper change within us to enact lasting restoration at the heart level.

To effect the heart to have true liberty from bondage to our sin, God says that we must go to His Word, and only His Word, "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent (or complete), thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Tim. 3:16, 17. God's Word is the manual for overcoming any sin issue, no matter how long-standing they have been. And the range of these issues are unlimited because the Scriptures equip us for every good work.

Now this does not diminish the need for counselors. The Scriptures are replete with looking out for each other in the local body of Christ. 1 Corinthians 12 says that very clearly. So then the quesiton arises, who should counsel? I'm glad you asked! Paul, by the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, writes, "I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another." (Romans 15:14). The answer to the question is that all believers are (at least potentially) able to counsel one another. If you are following Christ, you can tell others to follow you as you follow Christ (1 Cor. 11:1). If you are skilled in the word of righteousness and are no longer a baby needing milk in the spiritual sense (Heb. 5:13-14), you can help others in their childlike understanding to become mature (Heb. 6:1ff). If you are mature and see a brother dealing with a besetting sin or carrying a huge burden, you can help him deal with that (Gal. 6:1-3). These are (among other things) the foci for the true Christian. Why should we need anything else besides God's revelation to us to make us who Christ wants us to be? In Christ are all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

So, is modern psychology useless and helpful for nothing? No. Is it something that can help us in the sanctification process? No. Why? Because we have begun following Christ by the Spirit, and cannot be perfected by the flesh (Gal. 3:1-6, esp. v. 3). Modern psychology is rooted in viewing man as basically good, not responsible for his sin, and/or no different from an instinctual animal (referencing http://www.crechurch.com/counseling/comparison_of_counseling_philoso.htm).

How can this be adopted by the Christian, or even mixed just a little bit with the giving of sound biblical advice? They are two completely different worldviews with two completely different results. The Scriptures are what we need to live out to be completely acceptable before God, and we ought to listen to people who encourage and warn us to heed Him in all things.

Image used from www.cdc.gov/std/EPT/

Where are all the grown ups?

One of the best things that I can think of doing is blogging on an issue that relates to our culture and try to look at it from a biblical perspective. Today I finished a great book called The Death of the Grown Up that I heard of from one of my living heroes, Dr. Albert Mohler. He wrote a blog on it over a year ago and it was sitting on my mind until I finally decided to read it, and I am glad I did! The author of the book, Diana West, gives a great historical analysis of how America has gone from training children to be adults, to letting the youth stay in perpetual adolescence. Some of the statistics I found were alarming. One that has stayed in my mind for many months was about the show SpongeBob, which is on the Nickelodeon channel. That channel has its target audience between the ages of 6 and 11. But about one-third of the people who watch SpongeBob are between the ages 18 and 59! Another fascinating thing related to Seventeen magazine, a magazine started in 1944, with the aim to, "give stature to the teenage years, give teenagers a sense of identity, of purpose, of belonging." And just to bring the point home, West brings up that, "The average video gamester was eighteen in 1990; now he's going on thirty." So instead of prodding teenagers to become adults and be attracted to things that adults were doing, a whole new market was made for this age group to be comfortable in and feel no pressure to grow up. They could even stay as an adolescent beyond the teenage years in this new subculture.
As if that's not bad enough, parents are also contributing to this delayed adulthood. We have probably seen or heard of the parent that dresses like his/her children, listens to the same music, and just wants to be the child's friend. As a result teenagers have no role model or example in society of what a grown up is. Even if the teenager wants to grow up into a mature man or woman, there is nowhere that that teen could belong. It's not hard to see how this applies to everyone beyond the teen years.
The consequences are great for this sort of immaturity. For American society, there is another force out there that preys on this detriment according to Diana West, Islam. If people don't want to look at what is really happening in our society and they don't want to deal with it rightly, which has happened many many times in regards to Islam, then Europe and the US will slowly start to become more and more like the Middle East. We don't want to offend Muslims so that bombs won't be detonated on civilians, so we'll call Islam a religion of peace. We don't want protests or assassinations, so we'll call a cartoon unacceptable that jokes about someone telling Islamic martyrs that paradise ran out of virgins. We fear intimidation and threats of more bombs blowing off, so we'll refrain from saying Islamic societies are evil, even if they treat women horribly and have a history of expansion by violence.
It's easy to lament this sort of thing, but how do we handle this as Americans, and even moreso as Christians? The Bible says for older men to teach younger men to be self-controlled, and for older women to teach younger women a myriad of things including being pure, self-controlled and keepers at home (Titus 2:3-6), and Paul exhorts all guys to "act like men" (1 Cor. 16:13).
Being unskilled in God's Word is how the writer of Hebrews describes an immature man (5:13). Discerning between good and evil is what the mature one does (5:14). That obviously goes for more than just recognizing that Islam is not a religion of peace and a direct threat to our freedom (as important as that is). It means testing all things and holding fast to what is good (1 Th. 5:21). It means being able to descern truth from error, false teachers from true shepherds of the flock. It means not letting the culture define what you do, but to let the truth do that as it pertains to all issues. If you are a Christian, don't stay a spiritual baby. Grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18).